should've mentioned this earlier...

hit up slambfriend.com for my new blog. i've neglected this one but i update over there.

rise and grind

This morning I got back to the gym. I did my usual weight lifting stuff and speed walked a mile or so. I was surprised when I stepped on the scale that the last couple days of little attention to diet and even less activity didn't pack on pounds. Tomorrow I'm going to try a run around the park. Now that I know for sure that it's 1.3 miles I can wrap my mind around running that distance all at once.

I wrote this in my journal the other night:

I tend to use the consequences of previous poor decisions as excuses for not making better decisions right now. I need to get over that.

Anyway, I've lost about 33 pounds since April. I'm setting my sights on another 25 by January. So back to the grind. Nobody's going to steal my shine. :)

decision

this mood is over. tomorrow it's back to being hardcore. i'm not going to promise cheerful, but i am going to promise that i'm done with clever excuses for at least a 24 hour period. i need to get back on an endorphin rush.

post race let down

So I ran/walked the 5k. :) And it was different from how I pictured it. Leading up to the race, I let a bad couple of days turn into a bad week and a half. I knew I wasn't ready to run all of it-- I had mustered up enough to run a mile without stopping to walk followed by another mile with intermittent walking. Anyway, going in, I knew I couldn't run the entire 5k.

I was nervous about how different it would be running with other people. Usually when I work out, it's me and lenny the ipod. I didn't take lenny on the 5k because my friend Laura was there. She's a community sort of runner (meaning she prefers to run with a partner.)

When the race started, I was caught off guard. It was cold, dreary and a little drizzly. There was no gunshot or anything, just all of a sudden people were running so we started to run, too. And it turns out those other people run a heck of a lot faster than I do on my own.

Laura was awesome through it. She was encouraging and willing to go at my pace. She walked when I said I needed to walk. She was the right amount of chatty. She was the perfect running partner.

But I let having a running partner get to me. She is in way better shape than I am and most of the run, I was very aware of holding her back. At the beginning, I ran faster and further than I wanted and then had to compensate for the rest of the run by feeling too winded too early. Not having music and not knowing the route made it harder for me, too. I had no idea how far we'd gone or how many minutes we'd spent running.

At the gym, I've been running about a 14 minute mile. I know that's not super speedy by any means but for going from nothing to trying to run, I will own my 14 minutes. This 5k last Saturday was over in 45:20. Considering I think we walked about 1/3 of it, I feel like we ran faster and walked faster than I would have on my own. That's not a bad thing. It was good to be pushed.

The run was for a good cause. I don't think I hyped Katie's Crusaders enough. I'll find the link to her site in a bit and explain it in a later blog. That part was hugely touching.

So yeah. The run was good, just different from how I'd pictured it in my head. It was a good practice 5k. I'm going to shoot for another one and work harder, running outside so I can get used to how different it feels to run without climate control.

This week, though, I'm a slacker. I'm taking it easy and trying to focus on setting some new goals.

Coincidentally, I just sort of feel blah about everything. This whole "now what?" feeling has sunk in and the newness of a different job, house, community and life is not really as charming anymore. It could just be that I'm in a funk tonight. That's probably it. I'll see if a day or two makes a difference.

consistency

I'm not a consistent blogger. I'm not a consistent dishwasher. I certainly am not consistent when it comes to doing daily devotions or taking out the trash or grocery shopping. I find comfort in routines, but lately my routines have been counterproductive to health.

I'd love to make some grand announcement like THIS WILL CHANGE AND HERE IS MY PLAN. But I'm a human and not consistent with much of anything.

For the past 3 months, I have been consistent with exercise and with lifting weights. And then I went to Minneapolis for a weekend and threw my schedule even more out of wack. I knew I might get off track if I skipped a day.

I didn't think I would end up skipping 8 days. But I did. And I'm trying to move away from that and get back into a better rhythm. And it's almost as hard as it was back in April. Almost.

Here's the success, though: I feel better when I exercise. Running gives me a high. I've gone from celebrating one lap around the indoor track (1/8 of a mile! woohoo!) to celebrating 16 laps around that same track. TWO MILES. And I signed up for a 5k a couple months ago, laughing at the absurdity but this Saturday, I'll do it.

With my ill-timed week off, I'm doubting my ability to run all 3 miles of the race. Laura said she's not sure she can run all of it either. But we will try. And my goal is not to leave anything out there in that park. I'm going to do all that I can to finish as strong as I can. If I walk part, I walk part. That just means I'll have to try another one.

Anyway. It's RACE WEEK. And I need to shake a funk and celebrate that I've come this far.

ok. 3 things & a goal...

Here's the focus for self-improvement right now:

1. Exercise: lifting weights 3 times a week, getting good cardio in 5 days a week.
2. Eat/drink healthier: drinking the right amount of water, eating food that is more nutricious than the processed fast food junk.
3. Maintaining a reasonable standard of cleanliness for my house: not being paranoid about unexpected visitors & letting them come into the house.

I feel like for normal people, these are not outrageous goals but if I'm not intentional about my focus, all three slip away so fast.

Tonight I'm going to focus on house cleaning. Hardcore. If I get brave, I'll post some before and after pictures. Truthfully, I fear judgement. We'll see.


AND... this is the goal I picked for myself last night while walking and running. By my birthday in the middle of August, I want to be able to run a mile without stopping to walk.

That sounds so silly and unhealthy that I can't even think of running a mile today without stopping. Last night I was proud because I ran a lap around the indoor track. That was 1/8 of a mile. I know for healthy people, running a mile probably seems like nothing but for me it will be an accomplishment. Maybe I'll work up to something more past then. I have no idea on a time length for this mile, and honestly, even if it's the world's slowest jog 4 times around an outdoor track, I'll still feel a sense of accomplishment.

I can tell some progress. The scale shows just a tiny loss, but my clothes are starting to feel baggy. Ah, hope... :)

rawrrr!

Considering this past week, I'd give myself a solid B on effort as far as working out and eating better goes. Yesterday was a typical B sort of day.

I had planned to get up and hit the gym before going to work at 9. At 5:00, Haiku woke me up. It was raining but starting to turn to daylight and a cat's gotta eat. So I threw some food in his bowl and then went back to bed, knowing that it was a 5 in the morning sort of choice: get up crazy early or go back to sleep, fairly certain that the alarm would go off at 6:30 and I would be mid-dream, unwilling to get out of bed. I woke up again at 8:15-- just enough time to shower and head to work.

Monday is fancy coffee day in my world. I've switched to sugar free and skim in my latte, but I can't quit the coffee just yet. Since I was running late-ish, I grabbed a muffin at the coffeehouse instead of taking time to make breakfast at home. Boo.

I was a slacker at work. Funny how an early wake up and work out makes me more efficient the rest of the day. Without that, it's extra hard to be productive. After work, I headed home knowing I should go work out before settling in for the night. I was a rebel, though. I didn't want to sweat and have to shower.

The workout place closes at 8... it was close to 7 when, walking past a mirror, I caught my reflection. I was wearing my narwhal shirt that says "rawrrr" and that was enough... If I'm going to have a RAWRRR kind of life, I need a little more discipline. I need focus.

So I did a night workout instead. And it was late, but it was good. And even with the muffin and the sleeping in, I still think that's a B sort of day. I slept in again today, so that means after work I'll have to head to the Wellness Center and work out with the other after work worker outers.

Progress, though... right? Clothes are getting a bit baggy...and though my resolve wavers, I haven't given up yet. :)

I hope you have a RAWRRR kind of day!