(This just seemed to fit what I'm trying to get at with my own blog. And it's totally lazy just to link to someone else's blog. I get that. But it's raining. And I'm obsessing over newsletter stuff today, so I'll be back to blog soonish.)
1 thing that changed the way I chase dreams.
Posted using ShareThis
Monday, April 26, 2010
Monday, April 12, 2010
motivation v. discipline
I need to change my mindset. Or I need to talk to more go-get-'em kind of people and find out how they do everything they do. I find it so hard to get started. Once I'm in the middle of something, having a strong work ethic is a little less elusive, but taking that first step is the hardest.
Sometimes I try the game of giving myself just 1 or 2 things I have to do during the day. Yesterday it was to clean the bathroom and clean the filter for the vacuum cleaner. Both jobs together took only about 30 minutes but the first required finding the cleaning supplies in the mess of bags and boxes from the move. The second part-- that stupid vacuum filter-- always results in me sneezing for a good hour or so and it's just gross to see all the dust, cat fur & hair that accumulates from vacuuming.
Some part of me longs to be one of those people that can attack a to-do list with a vengeance. I think it would be awesome to be efficient and get so much done in so little time. That doesn't come naturally to me at all. Is that a natural thing for other people?
A college prof/friend once told me that he thought I waited for inspiration and motivation to strike when I should be pursuing discipline. He was right. I don't know if that's a part of my personality I can change or if I'm doomed to constantly annoy myself with the rush of adrenaline that comes from procrastinating right up to a deadline.
I need to try to fight that. I need to continue to pursue some healthy rhythms and get settled in a routine.
No more excuses...even if they're clever.
(Of course typing that and implementing that are so very, very different.)
Sometimes I try the game of giving myself just 1 or 2 things I have to do during the day. Yesterday it was to clean the bathroom and clean the filter for the vacuum cleaner. Both jobs together took only about 30 minutes but the first required finding the cleaning supplies in the mess of bags and boxes from the move. The second part-- that stupid vacuum filter-- always results in me sneezing for a good hour or so and it's just gross to see all the dust, cat fur & hair that accumulates from vacuuming.
Some part of me longs to be one of those people that can attack a to-do list with a vengeance. I think it would be awesome to be efficient and get so much done in so little time. That doesn't come naturally to me at all. Is that a natural thing for other people?
A college prof/friend once told me that he thought I waited for inspiration and motivation to strike when I should be pursuing discipline. He was right. I don't know if that's a part of my personality I can change or if I'm doomed to constantly annoy myself with the rush of adrenaline that comes from procrastinating right up to a deadline.
I need to try to fight that. I need to continue to pursue some healthy rhythms and get settled in a routine.
No more excuses...even if they're clever.
(Of course typing that and implementing that are so very, very different.)
Saturday, April 10, 2010
instant is for oatmeal...even that takes time
I had my first "weekend" while working in as long as I can remember. New job means new schedule and most weeks, I'm going to get to take Friday and Saturday off. This time I had a lengthy mental list of what I wanted to get done. I'm feeling a little defeated tonight and I'll admit I didn't get done all that I had hoped.
I'm going to try to focus on accomplishment. Maybe positive reinforcement will work?
I did make a trip to the laundromat. It was a little intimidating, but 4 loads of laundry & a roll of quarters later, I have clean sheets, towels and clothes to wear. I also have resolved to treat the absence of a washer and dryer in this little house as a twisted blessing. There are times it's going to be so annoying to not be able to throw in a some clothes, especially if I spill or if I want a particular item of clothing. Doing laundry outside my house will give me the opportunity to interact with people in the ommunity that I might not normally see. It's ministry if I use the time there as an intentional outreach.
It's a silly story, but the pop machine at this one was broken and I took that as a prompt to do a good deed. Another woman who was a few years behind me in high school was doing laundry and she mentioned that it was warm and she was thirsty. I told her I was going to walk over to Kmart and asked if she wanted anything. She gave me a dollar and I brought her back a Mountain Dew. I share this not to brag or be all "look at me; I did a good deed" but mostly as a reminder that we can help people in tiny ways and maybe that changes their mood or brightens their day.
I also washed some dishes and picked up a little bit. That's small, but considering I didn't want to do ANYTHING, I'll take the small changes I made. Cooking in my kitchen for the first time felt huge.
Tonight I need to make my bed. I slept on the couch last night because I felt too tired to put on sheets & the freshly laundered bedspread. It was a mistake. I woke up cold and achey... that was a big change I wanted to make in this house. I want to sleep in a bed and not on the couch in front of a tv. Last night reminded me of that.
Anyway, this is rambly. I need to stop. I'm watching the rest of Girl, Interrupted (Winona Ryder movie marathon all weekend... I've got most of them which maybe is owning up to an obsession?) and then I'm going to head to bed early. So far the new job is great, by the way. I'm looking forward to church tomorrow. It's been a bit since I could say that truthfully.
I'm going to try to focus on accomplishment. Maybe positive reinforcement will work?
I did make a trip to the laundromat. It was a little intimidating, but 4 loads of laundry & a roll of quarters later, I have clean sheets, towels and clothes to wear. I also have resolved to treat the absence of a washer and dryer in this little house as a twisted blessing. There are times it's going to be so annoying to not be able to throw in a some clothes, especially if I spill or if I want a particular item of clothing. Doing laundry outside my house will give me the opportunity to interact with people in the ommunity that I might not normally see. It's ministry if I use the time there as an intentional outreach.
It's a silly story, but the pop machine at this one was broken and I took that as a prompt to do a good deed. Another woman who was a few years behind me in high school was doing laundry and she mentioned that it was warm and she was thirsty. I told her I was going to walk over to Kmart and asked if she wanted anything. She gave me a dollar and I brought her back a Mountain Dew. I share this not to brag or be all "look at me; I did a good deed" but mostly as a reminder that we can help people in tiny ways and maybe that changes their mood or brightens their day.
I also washed some dishes and picked up a little bit. That's small, but considering I didn't want to do ANYTHING, I'll take the small changes I made. Cooking in my kitchen for the first time felt huge.
Tonight I need to make my bed. I slept on the couch last night because I felt too tired to put on sheets & the freshly laundered bedspread. It was a mistake. I woke up cold and achey... that was a big change I wanted to make in this house. I want to sleep in a bed and not on the couch in front of a tv. Last night reminded me of that.
Anyway, this is rambly. I need to stop. I'm watching the rest of Girl, Interrupted (Winona Ryder movie marathon all weekend... I've got most of them which maybe is owning up to an obsession?) and then I'm going to head to bed early. So far the new job is great, by the way. I'm looking forward to church tomorrow. It's been a bit since I could say that truthfully.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
HUGE observation
I've been reading the curriculum used with the confirmation class here. I've also started the book that the pastor and I will be reading together. The curriculum is CRC stuff. The book is Crazy Love by Francis Chan. Both fed into my newly remembered realization: God is so much bigger than I remember.
I love the Kevin Smith idea of God being played by Alanis Morisette and enjoying skeeball. I have enjoyed watching people debate God's gender. I've sung along with Veggie Tales: God is bigger than the boogie man. But all of those limit God in ways that don't apply.
With a skeeball God, it's a character named God. I doubt Kev would even say it's more than that. Gender applies to fathomable creatures like a dog or cat or narwhal. And God being bigger than the boogie man is so silly because God is SO MUCH bigger than anything I can comprehend. I have to admit the biggest realization for me in reading these books and thinking these thoughts: God is not a punchline.
Don't get worried. I'm not going to become this super serious "Christian" type who has no sense of humor when it comes to religion or church stuff or even some sacred things. Nor is every post here going to be directly about ministry or even about religious stuff. Or they all will be because that's the framework that comes with understanding me at all. Here's what I'm trying to get at: I am remembering, though, the love that drew me to God, to church and to youth ministry.
The other thought that piggybacks on this takes me back to a conversation I had once with a friend's father. I was trying to decide which job to apply for and what my calling was. The man's advice was to do what I most wanted to do. Follow my passion. He said it didn't matter much which I chose as long as I cared about what I did. "God will be glorified regardless of your job title and independent from you."
God is so many things and I don't get to pick which apply. All the attributes (confirmation vocab word, there) of God are named by God. I'm too finite to even comprehend...
As Francis Chan writes, "Isn't it a comfort to worship a God we cannot exaggerate?"
I love the Kevin Smith idea of God being played by Alanis Morisette and enjoying skeeball. I have enjoyed watching people debate God's gender. I've sung along with Veggie Tales: God is bigger than the boogie man. But all of those limit God in ways that don't apply.
With a skeeball God, it's a character named God. I doubt Kev would even say it's more than that. Gender applies to fathomable creatures like a dog or cat or narwhal. And God being bigger than the boogie man is so silly because God is SO MUCH bigger than anything I can comprehend. I have to admit the biggest realization for me in reading these books and thinking these thoughts: God is not a punchline.
Don't get worried. I'm not going to become this super serious "Christian" type who has no sense of humor when it comes to religion or church stuff or even some sacred things. Nor is every post here going to be directly about ministry or even about religious stuff. Or they all will be because that's the framework that comes with understanding me at all. Here's what I'm trying to get at: I am remembering, though, the love that drew me to God, to church and to youth ministry.
The other thought that piggybacks on this takes me back to a conversation I had once with a friend's father. I was trying to decide which job to apply for and what my calling was. The man's advice was to do what I most wanted to do. Follow my passion. He said it didn't matter much which I chose as long as I cared about what I did. "God will be glorified regardless of your job title and independent from you."
God is so many things and I don't get to pick which apply. All the attributes (confirmation vocab word, there) of God are named by God. I'm too finite to even comprehend...
As Francis Chan writes, "Isn't it a comfort to worship a God we cannot exaggerate?"
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
moved and unsettled
I have some work to do on the new place, but all of my stuff is here. I've worked a few days at the new job-- enough to get a sense that good things are coming. This tentative getting used to a big change thing is still tiring, but I'm trying to savor the time before bigger commitments hit.
Probably the coolest, unexpected thing so far is the closeness to my mom. I imagine we'll get along fairly well and it seems both of us are enjoying having the other one in town. Interesting.
Unfortunately for the moment, I've got way more thoughts than words. I don't want to make a vague "I'll be better, blogger... I swear I'll come visit EVERY DAY" promise, but honestly, check back. I'll find words and use them in surprising ways.
But now, rest... tomorrow is the first youth group night and I'm excited to meet the kids and worried that I get sleepy around 8... must be alert and energetic. Adrenaline will kick in.
Night, y'all.
Probably the coolest, unexpected thing so far is the closeness to my mom. I imagine we'll get along fairly well and it seems both of us are enjoying having the other one in town. Interesting.
Unfortunately for the moment, I've got way more thoughts than words. I don't want to make a vague "I'll be better, blogger... I swear I'll come visit EVERY DAY" promise, but honestly, check back. I'll find words and use them in surprising ways.
But now, rest... tomorrow is the first youth group night and I'm excited to meet the kids and worried that I get sleepy around 8... must be alert and energetic. Adrenaline will kick in.
Night, y'all.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)